Life's good, why frown? =D

Saturday, October 7

my parents will be leaving for Thailand later in the morning..
b4 they leave, they left lots of responsibilities for me.
i suddenly felt... lyk an adult.
i hate growing up.. seriously.
but hate to admit, i have to grow...

i have to head the 2 shops, in case any emergency happens, manage the working schedules of yiling and me plus other part timers, help to look after the shop too, etc.
and they kept on mentioning and mentioning, again and again to make me feel this way.
i... dun really lyk that feeling of looking after the business for the time being, when i'm just 18.
but i nv dislike these responsibilities, cuz.. i noe i have to, unless their son who's currently having exams wanna come back to help.
HA! but i get to watch vcd while i work... soo.. it's a bonus!

i've never worry for their trips, but this time round, i worried.
i dunno why~
just.. fang xin bu xia.
i was a good girl for tonight.
i obeyed everything they asked me to do, even the slightest things that i used to say, "NO!"
i even lent my parents my camera, when my father din even noe when i bought it.
he got a little shocked to realize i bought a camera, but well, can tell that he's happy that i lent him still.
and something he said made my night, "if i knew u have camera, i wun go all the way down to ur bro's hostel to get it from him."
and i was lyk, "huh? if there's nothing on u wun wanna go visit him de meh?"
and he went, "no.. i wun.."
cuz.. it's the first time that he made me feel.. more impt than my bro.
not that i'm trying to snatch for wadeva attention.
just that... my father always made me feel that, my bro is the first priority.

spoke to a fren and heard abt her family matters..
really felt for her, somehow oso bcuz her mum made her feel this way.
true enough.. i believe a son will stand a more impt role more than a daughter.
but somehow, they gave birth to u for a purpose.
there will definitely be this ONE time, that u will feel, "ohh. they love me."
just that this ONE time, arrive early or late.
it's true some experiences that made me realize, parents are really impt.
if only i have the brother who cares, oh.. and not kpo.
caring doesn't mean sabo-ing.
i only have a brother who only sabo me all the time, say things not very necessary to my parents, and grumble for the little things that i have done which i dun think deserve such treatment.
we are strangers at home, and we seriously... dunno each other well.
dun ask me why, but we're just... lyk that.

it's incidents after incidents that builds my maturity.
i felt that i have to be more responsible, for the path that i chose to walk initially.
i stepped in, and i have to bare all the consequences.
regrets... not really.
cuz.. at the very end, i learnt things that's out of studies.
but sometimes, i just felt tired.
tired of the nature of human beings, tired of giving in and giving in, tired of being made use of, tired of being misunderstandings, tired of some other things..
mentioning abt misunderstanding, sometimes i dun really speak up for myself.
and i've been thinking abt this, the truth will show someday.
one day, ppl will know wad i really have been doing and my character.
there'll always be rainbow after the rain!
if ppl wanna judge me like.. okay, i'm that kinda person, so be it.
i believe it takes time..
u wun noe a person well enough, until u really work with her long..

friends are known as friends, when they really know wad kind of person u are.
btw ling, i dun agree that having meals together are considered frens. haha. =x
i am myself only when i am the happy-go-lucky girl.
of cuz, i have my serious times, and i dun wish ppl to joke ard.
and when i look stern when i am not serious, something is not right.
now.. do u all noe the real me?
i dunno abt others, and i always knew that, one cannot satisfy everyone.
or maybe we shld go deeper into the horoscopes, when our personality clash, it means clash.
no matter how hard we try to noe each other, we just cannot talk.

i really thank those who've hurt me to make me grow.
those incidents which let me learnt more abt life.
of cuz, friends who care and lend me ur ears and eyes in msn.
and friends whom i really regard as FRIENDS.
mum, for being there to hear my "stories" everyday..
besides human beings, there's still God.
He is trustworthy too, cuz He wun tell anyone your secrets.
but i guess.. i cant fight with the devils.
the story is too long, and i dun wish to tok abt it anyway..
just that when i really want to commit, the devils will destroy it.
i experienced it, and i noe...

ok..
i'm tired.
time to sleep.
the above i'm not mentioning abt anyone in particular! i'm just.. venting my experiences, leaving it as a memory, cuz.. it's part of my life.
i'm not angry with anyone lar... just sometimes, i felt unfair when i was being misunderstood.

and one thing RANDOM i would lyk to declare,
I HATE PEOPLE CLAIMING CREDITS!!!!!!
if u want to claim, claim elsewhere, dun claim IN FRONT of me. wah laooo..
if u're just joking, i can understand. (lyk wad my frens always lyk to joke abt)
if u are seriously CLAMING, den u are disgusting man!

TOMMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY.
unless something foul happen.
dun come and disturb me PLS!

at 3:23 AM =l